Pledge $1 per month
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Give a pound or a dollar a month (either sounds good), and you'll get an on-the-pod thankyou once a series, you star you.
Don't forget we'll be off-air for a few months a year - but your regular donations will urge us back all the sooner, as we'll know you want it back! And remember I'l still recording in the mean time - series 1 took over a year to record, all in!
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For a fiver, you'll receive a thankyou from me AND an in-episode thankyou from one of our guests. Keep this donation regular for 6 months, and you'll also become a Life Peer of the Heptagon Club, earning the title of Lord/Lady/Archduke/a nobility moniker of your choosing. Just let us know how to address you, and we'll ensure one of our toppest of top guests does so.
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Pledge $10 per month
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You'll get a personalised thankyou from the toppest of top guests that we have on the show, addressed to a nobility title of your choosing, as a Life Peer of the Heptagon Club. I'd go for Viscount or Archduchess.
But I'll ALSO thank you each ep for the duration of your donation, you superstar you. You'll ALSO have access to a VIP corner of the club, ie. you can help sculpt and mould the podcast from names of corners to new features.
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Pledge $20 per month
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You get the benefits of the lower levels - Life Peerage, VIP corner of the club, shout-outs etc - plus you get to really call the shots. We'll listen. You want poems, we'll bung a poem on, about a subject of your choosing! You want me to interview a lollipop lady, I'll find one! You get the red carpet treatment here.
ALSO I'll get you 2 tickets for when I'm performing stand-up at a show of your choosing (subject to availability - if not, we'll find another gig) - we'll have a drink and you can tell me who and what you want on the podcast. I'll try and get 'em...
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Pledge $50 per month
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Oh well this is too generous... So for this you get the Life Peerage, the shout-outs, the feedbackatunities to help shape the show - and we'll name one of our 7 corners after you. How about the Norbert Jones Corner of Trivia? Anecdotalists' Inglenook could become the Doreen Evans' Corner of Tales? I know it sounds like you've died and we've named a bench after you, but we'll know the truth.
You'll get tickets to a show when I'm on doing m'stand-up, name your place...
And I'll get the biggest-name guest I can find to say hi in a video, and send that your way.
You know what as well? You can come to a recording and help interview a guest - and be a guest yourself. You can also plug anything you want (within reason, come on, we're not bringing back hanging) - a company, a cause, a product, or whatever you like. The airtime's yours!
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If you like/love what we (I) do, and want us (me) to keep going, ping some £ to keep us afloat! Ta
The Heptagon Club is a one-man machine, prob-/possibly the only podcast produced, presented and edited by one person, with 7 guests every single episode. The planning, interviews, editing, pod-management, and whatever else 'production' entails is all done by little old me. I mean most people at least hire an editor...
Maybe I'll be able to that too! One day. But for now I'm just trying to keep the podcast afloat. Not just the web hosting fees, but also the travel to and from our amazing guests, have all put me well and truly out-of-pocket, and that's without factoring in anything at all for my time - each episode takes about a week of full-time effort to make it. That's a week of writing jobs and stand-up gigs I'm not doing, to bring this to you.
So if you listen and like and want more of it, please consider just pinging a few pounds over. If you can manage £1/episode, or more - each series has 7 episodes, so maybe a tenner for the whole series even? Go that far and you'll become a Heptagon Club Life Peer, and earn the title of Lord or Lady (or other noble title of your choosing - Archduke or Viscount are surely there for the taking...) and we'll gladly celebrate you on the pod and metaphorically carry you at shoulder height in thanks. A double-figure donation will earn you this!
If you fancy funding us beyond this, or with regular payments, we'll give you the chance to shape the future of the podcast, with exclusive opportunities to sculpt what we do on air and name corners of the club. Go very large in your donation, and we'll get a star name to read a message of your choosing (keep it clean, family show...)
Whatever you can give, thanks! I'll usher in the next series all the sooner if people ping some coin - so that, my friends, is your doing...
Petrol and train ticket o'clock!
...Pounds not dollars (I don't know what a dollar is).
Reach this, and I'll put that straight into getting on a mode of transport to record more top interviews with more top guests. The next series will then be ushered in all the quicker - and it'll reach your ears in no time. Usual gap between series will be around half-a-year. Maybe sooner if we reach this milestone...
...If we get this far (in pounds not dollars, I'm British and don't understand international exchange rates), then I can afford to buy some kind of recording device that isn't just the free iphone Voice Memo app. Ooh, the change in quality will be... well we'll have to just imagine it in the mean time.
...We won't get this far. No way. What's that? You're thinking of donating so we might?
Oh well if we do, we're looking at the premium version of Podbean's hosting, which includes the ability to upload bigger, better quality files, and more frequently. (Currently we're only allowed, essentially, one and a bit podcasts a month, due to bandwidth.)
Just imagine what the future could sound like if we reach this...
More Podcasts o'clock!
Reach this (in £ not $) and the gap between series will be far less. I'll know that people like it enough to want more podcasts, and more podcasts I shall give them, with more guests, more quickly, as I can do more of it instead of other work.
Hey! Might even get an editor by this stage too, so it's not a one-man machine... Basically by this level, I'll know there's a proper demand for podcasts that, to be honest, the podcast industry in Britain has currently shown little sign of ever reaching. So while it would be lovely, I might as well say that at this funding level, I'll do the flamenco with a flamingo in a Renault Twingo.
I'll do the flamenco with a flamingo in a Renault Twingo.